I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
