get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
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There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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