she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
My liver just broke up with me...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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