if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
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My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize