Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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