Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
