I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
