IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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