Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
