we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so let's talk penis.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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