The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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