We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
