Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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