The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
