Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
