I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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