margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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