Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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