I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
