im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
