YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
