are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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