She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Boobs are out for the taking
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
