I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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