we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
