I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
