You can't motorboat a personality
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
