wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
