i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
