i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Randomize
