Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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