I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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