I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
