Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
