The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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