The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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