Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
