so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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