I accidentally had phone sex last night
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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