he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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