how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
