I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
