please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
