Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
