people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
