Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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