I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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