it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
