Whoa Z and x make the same sound
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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