Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize