imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just forgot I was standing up.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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