I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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