Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
