your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
