dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Less talking, more tequila
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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