If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
