He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
