I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm too high and old for this...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
