I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
