In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
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