I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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