You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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